Obsidian.

Watch in Full Screen.

Apologies.

Tinashe's cover of Vampire Weekend's A-Punk. Watch in Full Screen.

Electric.

Great music. Bad advice. Watch in Full Screen.

Thursday.

Every time I listen to the song Marvin's Room by Drake, it puts be in a weird mood. While I don't become depressed, furious or any form of being upset, I still feel a bit empty. I think the song makes me more eager than anything. While many of us can say that we've had our fair share of heart break, none of us can really relate to each other's emotion. However, whenever I hear Drake's voice proclaiming how he deserve's a girls love more than the one that she actually loves, it makes me think just how cool this guy is. The same goes for when I listen to any song by The Weeknd, (which you have to listen to if you haven't already!) or anyone else like them. When The Weeknd is talking about losing his girl to another girl in The Knowing, and how he's discovered her secret, but how he still loves her it just puts me in an emotional grind. As we all know, emotions are not 'cool.' It isn't cool to lose your girlfriend. It isn't cool to be lonely. Tears are not cool. However, the after effect is. Nowadays the brooding, dark and mysterious figures which populate the back of the bars, clubs and taverns are the ones that are the coolest. Falling into habit to fill some sort of void, that is something that we can deem cool though right? I don't know what it is that makes these people cool, but what  it shows us is that happiness is not 'cool.' Which sort of draws a rift between what it is that we want, and what it is that we need. (Haha, no pun intended.)

Anne-Catherine Frey... has no reason to be pictured here. I just want to be her friend. D=
Photo from A Truly Intriguing Subject.

I love my friends, many of them are like siblings to me, and I think that many of them are really 'cool.' At the same time, it was a process to become friends with them. It wasn't easy to become friends with a lot of them, while others was incredibly simple to befriend. I think their 'coolness' comes from their elusiveness. People are  animals, plain and simple. In the social jungle that we live in, being elusive allows one to protect themselves many times. Acting cold to strangers, and being unfriendly to most people prevents one from having to open up, or waste time on people that may either harm them or endanger them. It takes effort to befriend a 'cool' person. However, this self-defense system essentially sacrifices their friendliness. On one side we have being able to defend oneself from the tribulations that Drake and The Weeknd face in their songs, by being elusive and thus mysteriously cool. On the other side we have the opportunity to meet people who we want to befriend, and enjoy the company of people that we can trust. I've had many friends that have betrayed my trust. For that reason, it would make sense to limit my social circle, but it just makes my selection of 'real' friends rather small. There are very few people that really know the real me, and I like it that way. Of course, this isn't because of some sort of hidden aspiration to be the cool guy, but makes me seem either stoic or unemotional. The truth is, it takes effort to know me, and the same goes for anyone that knows the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. Obviously you wouldn't tell your entire life story to a person you meet at the store just so that they could be your friend, right? It takes time to open oneself up to other people. Media makes us believe that the harder it is to crack open that exterior, the cooler this person is, because they know the significance of solitude. Whether that's true is questionable, but I find it fascinating. 

Like minded friends.
Photo from Black Fashion

I guess it also makes friendships more valuable. CONTRADICTIONS.

Wednesday.

Haha, I didn't do much today, so I guess I don't have much to talk about. This is turning out to be a very long summer if I do say so myself. I've been doing some secretary work for my father, and have been having people call me and spill their souls about their current parental issues. They talk about things like child support, custody rights, lawyer fees, halfway homes etc. It's really sad stuff, but I can't help but think to myself that, it's not really sad. I don't know how sinister it is for me to say that these are responsibilities that these people have decided to engage, and that I can only hope that they thought about the severity of taking on a life. A child is more than just an accessory, they're a human life. It's not just feeding them every day and washing them every week, like one would with a pet. While this all seems like common sense, you wouldn't believe some of the stuff that I hear. Of course, I'm not allowed to divulge anyone's information, not would I want to, but after a while it starts to make one thing. I'm not trying to preach to anyone, because life is a beautiful thing, but at least be ready to accept the responsibility. Perhaps I'm just not ready for that sort of thing in my life now, but that doesn't mean others are not as well. I got word that a friend of mine from childhood recently had a child, simply because she wanted to. I thought it was a really spectacular thing to embrace, but at the same time I couldn't help but think to myself that I can't see myself doing the same thing. Moreover, my cousin recently was married just a few months ago, a cousin that is just a year two months older than myself. Again, a beautiful thing, but is it too soon? Perhaps we're in the stage of our lives that we are rushing to grow up, and show our significance from our adolescent counterparts. A man is defined by his actions, so does that mean we have to do adult things to be considered adults? It's a scary thought, but it's something that we have to face. Having a family isn't going to happen by sitting around and thinking about it. Perhaps my friends and family are just ready to start that stage in their lives, and I love them for it. I can appreciate their strength and I can admire their perseverance. 

Father and Daughter
Photo by The Satorialist

Well, that's all I really have to say for today. Maybe I'll have something more beneficial to say tomorrow. Haha.

XO.

If you still haven't DLed 'House of Balloons,' you're really missing out. Watch in Full Screen.

Sunday.

Today I went to my Aunt's house. There, my Father, my Aunt and I looked through a scrapbook she had put together which composed much of the Vincent family history. It was an amazing moment for me. It was the first time I was wearing about, let alone seeing many of the people that are responsible for my existence. The Vincent family is nothing short of incredible. My aforementioned grandfather is just a portion of something that is simply awe-inspiring. Hopefully it's something that I inherit as well. Aside from being a horde of 'swanky' ladies and gentlemen, the most enjoyable portion of the trip into the past was getting a chance to see my late grandmother once again. Before her passing, I had known my grandmother to be one of the wittiest, funniest, loving and sarcastic people I knew. To this day I don't know anyone who could make me smile more. However, today I learned that aside from her ensnaring personality she was absolutely breathtaking in her youth. Now, I've seen my fair share of women in these twenty-two years, but I can honestly say that my grandmother was one of the most gorgeous women I've ever seen. From pictures of her and my grandfather out on the town, to the home photos of her dressed down, wearing her massive bifocals, she never ceased amazing me. With a woman as bright and beautiful as Donna Jean Sanders, to have been married to a man as cool and charismatic as Virgil Vincent, really gives me hope. Though here's the kicker: My grandparents were born in the early portion of the 1900s. Having married in the 30's, the couple was composed of a black man, and a white woman. That means a marriage of 70+ years. Though of course, we know that while bodies may pass, love like that doesn't. In my eyes, the two are still happily married.


To just imagine that sort of bond that a couple could hold during a time where black men were being killed just for looking at a white woman! To only imagine the constant threat of death, towards my grandfather; The risk of being disowned that my grandmother took, were nothing but risks that the two were willing to take. Such is the cost of love. While their marriage gives me hope, it saddens me that I'll never find a woman like my grandmother. She was truly one of a kind. 

The best thing to hold onto in life is each other. - Audrey Hepburn

I guess I don't have much else to say for today's post. Don't be afraid to take risks for love. Despite the many ups and downs that you will no doubt face, it's all worth it. There is absolutely nothing like love. Not a thing in the world.